You Say You Want a Resolution

by kerri morrone sparling

Kerri Morrone Sparling has been living with type 1 diabetes for almost twenty years. She writes a much-trafficked diabetes blog, Six Until Me (SUM), and is an active member of the diabetes community. She is known for her tagline, “Diabetes doesn’t define me, but it helps explain me.”

There are plenty of resolutions I should make for this New Year. Like, “I resolve to answer emails within 24 hours.” Or, “I resolve to balance my checkbook weekly.” Or the always fun, “I resolve to lose those last pesky five pounds.” But these resolutions aren’t necessary for life (thankfully – if they were, I’d be in trouble!), so they’re easy to blow off.

Making diabetes resolutions isn’t so easy for me, but the resolutions I really need to make, and keep, are the ones that pertain to diabetes management.

I have the best intentions, but I’m not always organized enough to follow through. I forget to balance my checkbook every week, emails sit unanswered for days on end, and the number on the scale doesn’t budge. But the resolutions I really need to make, and keep, are the ones that pertain to diabetes management. Making diabetes resolutions isn’t so easy for me, though. I feel frustrated and discouraged when I’m not able to maintain them and even if I don’t keep my “resolution,” I still have the disease. Breaking my resolve doesn’t remove the need to manage my diabetes.

I do try, though. My efforts come in spurts. Every few months, I square my shoulders and make a promise to myself. “I WILL log my blood sugars!” And I really want to, I swear! I bring the notebook to work and write down all my results. And I download my numbers from my meter that first week. But then I forget to log over the weekend. I leave the notebook at work overnight. Gaps form in my logbook, and I eventually discard it altogether. Sure, I’m testing and counting carbohydrates and trying to stay on top of things, but keeping records isn’t my strong suit. And without records, I have a hard time picking out those subtle blood sugar trends that can throw off my whole day. It’s tough for me to maintain that level of commitment to logging. Diabetes burnout visits most when I’m focused heavily on management, so I need to find ways to “trick myself” into making my life healthier, without putting too much emphasis on “diabetes.”

This year, making sense of diabetes and all its intricacies isn’t going to be just a resolution. I need to make lifestyle changes. But how do I do that?

Back when I was in college and taking psychology courses, an instructor told us that it takes 30 days to make something a habit. “Thirty days, people,” she said, marching around the lecture hall. “That means you need to do this new thing for a month before it becomes part of your routine. Once those thirty days are up, you have yourself a habit.”

You know where I’m going with this: It takes time for real changes to turn into habits.

The first step to making diabetes resolutions you can keep is to identify what you’d like to improve. For me, my A1c and recording my blood sugars top that list. Then you need to set specific goals. I want an A1c that’s consistently under 7% and a logbook that I can bring to my doctor appointments without creating it the night before. (See also: all those times that my mother and I wrote down number after number from my meter’s memory, using different colored pens to make it look like we’d been working on the logbook all along).

Now all I have to do is create a plan, right? This isn’t as easy as it sounds. It’s easy to identify goals. I think about the gaps in my diabetes management and my last crummy A1c and my constant struggle to record blood sugar numbers … it’s downright simple to see where the holes are. But correcting it? I need motivation. Fortunately, I have a big motivator these days. Recently married and talking with my husband about getting my body ready for children, I have an A1c goal set by my endocrinologist at Joslin – holding steady under 7%. That’s the goal, and that’s my New Year’s resolution for certain. It’s quite a motivator to think about my future family and knowing my actions now can help safeguard their health.

Getting there? It’s not going to be easy.

I’ve got my game face on, though. My husband and I are regulars at our local gym, so getting in five workouts a week isn’t my biggest issue. And thanks to the software that came with my OneTouch meter, I have the option of downloading my numbers to my computer as often as I’d like. I’ve bought a fancy new binder to put my blood sugars in once I’ve printed them and I have a standing date with myself to print out my week’s numbers on Sunday nights. I just need to do it for a few weeks in order to make it a real habit.

One of the most difficult things for me is sticking to a regular eating/sleeping pattern. I am constantly working on different projects, traveling, and I’m generally all over the place, so eating the same foods and going to bed at the same time is nearly impossible. My goal is to try and eat as many planned meals as possible during the work week, knowing that my weekend schedules are chaotic, and to keep those meals easy to make and easy to bolus. Eating foods I’m familiar with makes it easier for me to anticipate and accommodate blood sugar fluctuations.

And the other tough management hurdle for me is staying emotionally tuned in. Sometimes the daily ins and outs of diabetes can really get into my head, making me feel too entrenched in the disease. Every morning starts with a blood sugar check and every meal is preceded by an insulin bolus. Going to the gym every weeknight isn’t just about staying fit and looking young, but also about keeping my heart healthy and my muscles receptive to insulin. Diabetes requires a lot of attention and maintenance, and paying rapt attention to each detail can be a real pain. There are times when I need to break free from the daily routine and cut loose a little bit, like taking a “cake break” (yes, it’s as awesome and literal as it sounds) or skipping the gym now and again. I need to manage diabetes, but I can’t be a slave to it. I have a life to live, and one that isn’t defined by this disease.

So at the end of the year, what will I have earned? A logbook crammed with blood sugar numbers? A few lab work result slips with shiny gold stars on them? Hopefully yes, but the real reward is staying healthy. And if I can make these management changes into lifelong habits, I’ll be healthy and happy for each New Year.